Saturday, July 11: Piltover versus Shurima Featured Matches


Boldly to hope, nobly to strive, for a brighter tomorrow.

The majority of Factions matches are pick-up matches that anyone can start or join. On the weekends, we complement these matches with shoutcasted Featured Matches using more carefully balanced teams, and with higher than usual stakes. The matches are held in sets of three on each Saturday and Sunday, with the first match beginning at 12:30 Pacific (3:30 Eastern) on each day. Matches are streamed at

This weekend, Piltover, the City of Progress, will face Shurima on Saturday and Noxus on Sunday. As fighting continues in Shurima, the League has called for these matches to be held in order to resolve the dispute surrounding Piltover’s construction of a velocitronic railway between Demacia and Bandle City, running through Shurima. The velocitronic rail is a high-speed levitating train powered by pyrikhos, devised by Jayce in 24 CLE during the Hextech Revolution. During that first Shuriman dispute, Piltover constructed the first leg of the railway between Demacia and Piltover, allowing overnight travel of large quantities of material and personnel between the two nations. The completion of this second segment between Demacia and Bandle City would not only allow much greater commerce between Piltover and its yordle allies, but would also open up the largely uninhabited southern region of Valoran, ravaged by the Rune Wars, for rehabilitation and development.

These will be the first such high-profile matches fought since Shurima’s admission to the League of Legends as a sovereign member-state. While many Shurimans are jubilant to finally have the respect and dignity on the international stage that they were so long denied, the more generous League adjudication rules used for membership petitions have been replaced by standard regulations, and the great powers of Valoran have been rather unkind to the upstart Shurima. Azir is now ensnared in a tangled mess of red tape and technical objections, mixed (as usual) with power politics and likely some element of corruption within the Institute. It is expected that many Champions will find themselves either disqualified outright or abruptly called away on “League business” just before a match begins.

Howling Abyss Tutorial Loadscreen

Piltover was given the choice of battlefield for this weekend. Its Summoners selected the Howling Abyss. If you’re planning to watch these matches in person, rather than via hexcast or other arcane means, you would be well advised to dress warmly. While concessions will be on sale, you are admonished to refrain from feeding any poros that may sneak into the stands during the match. Instead, any insurgent wildlife should be reported to the local Field warden for safe removal.

Yes, they’re cute. We know they’re cute. We assure you they are being well fed. There is no need to slip them snacks. You’ll only encourage them.

What? Heartless? Come on. Look at how fat they are. Besides, what are you doing feeding poros that live near the Fields, soaking up all that ambient thaumic radiation, while the Fields’ nexuses are active? Do you have any idea how explosively poros can multiply under those conditions? A sudden burst of vital energy mixed with some thaumic distortion and….what? Yes, I know the Champions do it. They’re Champions. I’ll tell you what: you go become a Champion yourself, then you can ignore me. Until then, you have to—

Alright. Fine. Go ahead. Feed the poros. And you can explain yourself when a bunch of visiting dignitaries from important member-states (oh, shut up, yes, I know they’re all important, save the politics for the Council) get pounced on by a flock of newborn poros who proceed to eat their necklaces and gnaw on their silks. And then when this snowballs in the media—shut up, that wasn’t a deliberate pun—and that state leaves the League, and the League collapses, and the Seventh Rune War begins, you’ll know it was because you couldn’t resist the urge to feed enchanted poro-snax to a poro during a match. Alright, fine. Maybe not the Seventh Rune War. But seriously.

Stop feeding the damn poros.


Caitlyn, you monster.

Posted in Uncategorized
2 comments on “Saturday, July 11: Piltover versus Shurima Featured Matches
  1. Crazymasterbookworm876 says:

    <3 Poros.

  2. AffableZombie says:

    Good luck guys.

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